Just an Ordinary Battle
Jeniyus was playing on her gamecube when, suddenly, her watch began to blink. She looked at it, and it displayed the text: "Metrinos theft upcoming." She groaned. "Metrinos..." She pressed the teleportation button, and she was transported to a large, open field near a beautiful river, clad in her superhero costume. The sun was out, and it was quite warm. She looked around and saw a small, metal hatch in the ground, and realized that it must be a specialized security vault for someone in the top one percent. She had seen them a few times before; they were always located in strange areas. "Hmm...this is weird," she thought. "Did I get here before Metrinos?" Then, as if summoned by her thoughts, Metrinos stepped out from behind a nearby tree, and smiled at Jeniyus with a very surprised countenance. He walked over to her. "Jeniyus! Wasn't expecting you'd be here so soon. Isn't the scenery amazing?" Thrown off by his admiration of the scenery, Jeniyus stumbled with her words. "Uh...well, yeah, it's very beautiful. But, anyway, I know you're here for the-" "Oooh! Jeniyus, look! A deer!" Metrinos declared as he turned and pointed at a small deer drinking out of the river. He turned back to Jeniyus, pulled out an old-fashioned camera from behind his cape, and hastily shoved it into Jeniyus's hands. "Get a picture of me with the deer!" He began to run off towards the deer. "Damn it," Jeniyus sighed. Metrinos approached the deer carefully so that he wouldn't scare it off. The deer pulled it's head up out of the water, and turned around, as if it knew it was about to be photographed, and wanted to be facing the camera. Metrinos crouched down next to the deer and smiled in Jeniyus's direction. Jeniyus held up the camera and snapped the picture, hoping that Metrinos wouldn't want any more than one photo. The picture came out of the bottom of the camera and Jeniyus took hold of it. Metrinos got up and trotted back over to Jeniyus. "Can I see?" Jeniyus handed him the picture, and Metrinos's eyes lit up at the sight of it. "Nice! Very nice!" "Uh, Metrinos?" Jeniyus demanded. Metrinos lowered the picture. "Yes?" "I know you're here to steal everything in the vault behind me, so let's just fight, and get it over with." Metrinos put the picture behind his cape, and frowned. "Sorry, Jeniyus, but I don't feel like fighting today." Jeniyus grimaced. "Okaaay. But if you want to get to the vault, you're gonna' have to go through me." Metrinos smiled brightly. "Instead of fighting, why don't we try something different to settle this dispute?" "Uhh...what?" "We'll do battle without engaging in actual combat." "How?" Metrinos leaned in closer to Jeniyus, and said, "Glad you asked!" He snapped his fingers and transported the two of them to a large mini-golf arena. "Aah! What the hell?!" Jeniyus exclaimed at the sudden change of scenery. "Welcome to the Jade Mini-Golf Arena! Now, what kind of putter would you like?" Jeniyus crossed her arms, a very obvious grimace on her face. "I'm not doing this." Metrinos laughed a little and said, "Oh, yes you aaaaare! I won't fight you any other way, and I'm the only one who can transport us back to the river area." "Yeah, right!" Jeniyus retorted, and pressed the button on her watch....only to have nothing happen. "Huh?" Jeniyus pressed the button again and again, but to no avail. "I told you! I'm stopping your watch from teleporting you out!" Jeniyus glared at him. "What?! You don't even have these powers!" Metrinos chuckled. "Oh, really? Well, apparently, I do now." "You don't seriously think I'm going to just let you rob the vault if I lose a game, do you?" "Oh, of course not. This is how it's going to work, Jeniyus: we play a series of games until one of us tires out completely. Whoever outlasts the other is the winner. You can't so well stop me if you're all tuckered out, now can you? And I can't rob the vault if I'm too exhausted either." Jeniyus sighed and said, "Fine. I'll play your damn games." Stage One: Mini-Golf "This is humiliating," Jeniyus muttered as she lined up her putter with the ball. Metrinos leaned in close, a large smile on his face, and said, "That may be, but I think I can see a smile trying to form on that face!" He, briefly, tickled her under the chin with his fingers. Jeniyus pulled away from him, holding back a smile. It's true, she couldn't deny that mini-golf was quite fun. But she wouldn't allow Metrinos to see her enjoying this strange battle of theirs. She swung the putter, and hit the ball, which came close to the hole at the end of the range. She looked up and nodded her head, satisfied with the hit. "My turn!" Metrinos cried. He set his ball on the ground and lined up his shot. He swung the putter and got a hole-in-one. "Ha! Yes!" Jeniyus's eyes widened. "You gotta' be kidding me." Metrinos smiled at Jeniyus. "Oh, come now, Jeniyus, this hole is easy. You just swung a little too hard. You've probably grown far too accustomed to swinging around that sword of yours. Lighten up on the swings." "Why are you giving me advice? Don't you want me to lose?" Metrinos shrugged. "Not really. I don't care who wins. The objective is to tire you out, not beat you." "You're the least competitive person I know..." At the next hole, Jeniyus hit the ball, and a humongous black dragon with razor sharp teeth and barbed wings flew onto the field, snatched the ball, and flew away. Jeniyus was rendered speechless for a moment. Then, she exclaimed, "What the hell was that?!" "Oh, that?" Metrinos chuckled. "That's just a hazard I added to the course." Jeniyus glared at him. "You can't just add hazards to the field!!" Metrinos shook his head, the broad smile still plastered on his face. "Sorry, but we're playing by my rules, Jeniyus. Plus, I'll have to face the same hazard, so that balances it out." "No it doesn't! How is anyone supposed to get passed an obstacle like that?!" Metrinos set his ball down. "Observe." He swung his putter, and hit the ball, which travelled slower than Jeniyus's. The same dragon came by, but the ball was traveling slowly, so it was not yet at the point where the dragon swooped down, so the dragon flew back up into the sky without taking anything. With the dragon gone, the ball travelled right into the hole. "You see, Jeniyus? You're still swinging too hard. If you had swung more gently, the ball would have gone slower, and the dragon wouldn't have been able to take it." "I...you....what?!!" The two played for a while until they were, finally, at the last hole. It looked like a fairly easy hole, despite being the last one, which was usually supposed to be the hardest. Jeniyus swung her putter and hit the ball. It looked as though she was about to get a hole-in-one, but then, suddenly, the ball hovered right over the hole. "Huwhaaaaaaaaaat?!" Jeniyus exclaimed. Metrinos laughed and said, "A no-gravity hazard. Like it?" "NO-GRAVITY HAZARD?!!" Metrinos nodded. "That's right!" Jeniyus glared at him angrily. "Let me guess, I swung too hard agaiin?" Metrinos set his ball on the ground. "No. This time you just got unlucky. The no-gravity hazard is only on every two seconds." He swung his putter and easily got a hole-in-one. "See? You just have to be fortunate." Jeniyus drooped. "This whole game was a sham." Metrinos was awarded the winner of the match and received a small bag of candy from the front office of the arena. "Mmm...want some, Jeniyus?" "Not hungry," Jeniyus replied bitterly. "Oh, come now, Jeniyus. You didn't like our little game?" "NO." "Well, don't fret. The next one is about to start." Metrinos snapped his fingers and they teleported away. Stage Two: Laser Tag Jeniyus yelled in surprise at the sudden change of scenery. "HOW ARE YOU EVEN DOING THAT?!" Metrinos scratched his ear with his hand and said, "Well, I can teleport." "NO YOU CAN'T! YOU DON'T HAVE THAT POWER!!" "I do in this story." "YOU CAN'T JUST....THIS IS REALLY BAD WRITING!" "Come on, Jeniyus, don't worry about the details. Let's just play!" Jeniyus held her laser gun with both hands, a small band with a plastic circle wrapped around her left upper arm. She wandered the maze, looking for Metrinos, her eyes shifting around warily. They had both been dropped off at opposite ends of the maze, and were now looking for each other. They had to be careful though; cardboard cut-outs would be popping out and scaring them, and if they shot at them, thinking it was the other player, they could give away their position to the other player due to the sound the toy laser gun made. Jeniyus came to a doorway, and pressed her back against the wall next to it. She carefully peeked through the doorway to see if Metrinos was there; he wasn't. Neither of them knew how large this maze was, so they didn't know how close or far away from each other they were. She disengaged from the wall, and walked through the doorway. Suddenly, a large cardboard cut-out of a sunflower with a smily face dropped down from the ceiling. Jeniyus's heart nearly burst from the surprise, and she reflexively held out her laser gun with one hand, but just barely managed to avoid pulling the trigger. She lowered her gun, breathed a quiet sigh of relief. The cut-out slowly slid back up into the ceiling. "Where is he?" she thought. She wasn't sure how long she had been wandering the maze, and wondered how far she currently was from Metrinos. She began to advance towards the next room through another open doorway. In this room, to her ultimate surprise, a disco ball dropped from the ceiling and lit up the room, with fairly quite techno music playing. Then, from very small doorways on the walls, tiny machines that resembled leprechauns came out into the room, and began to dance to the music. Jeniyus stared at the spectacle, her jaw hanging open. After a few minutes, the machines went back into the walls, the music stopped, and the disco ball went back up into the ceiling. Grimacing, Jeniyus told herself, "Just keep walking, Jeniyus..." Jeniyus continued to make her way through the winding corridors of the laser tag arena. Eventually, she came upon another large room. Cautiously, she walked forward into it, holding her gun up with both hands as though she were a cop about to arrest an armed thug. Remembering the last room, she braced herself for any sudden movements. But then, something tapped her on the shoulder from behind. She yelled in surprise, whirled around, and fired her laser gun....only to see that a cardboard clown face had descended from the ceiling behind her and touched her shoulder. Realizing her mistake, she ran out of the room as fast as she could. "Crap, crap!" she muttered. She knew that Metrinos would, soon, be hot on her trail after hearing the yelling and the laser gun shots. Then, as she was nearing a turn in the hallway, Metrinos jumped in front of her from around the corner, smiling, and shot her with his laser gun. The light on Jeniyus's vest blinked, indicating that she had lost, and Metrinos was the winner. The corridors became lit, and exits were highlighted all around them. "I win again!" Metrinos declared, winking at Jeniyus. Disgruntled, Jeniyus responded, "Yeah, looks like it." Metrinos laughed, and opened one of the exit doors for Jeniyus. They both exited the arena and walked over to the main desk. For winning, Metrinos received another small bag of candy. "Oooh! This candy bag has chocolates with peanut butter inside them! Want one, Jeniyus?" "Still not hungry," Jeniyus responded. Metrinos gently scratched the top of Jeniyus's head, and said, "Oh, come on, now, Jeniyus! You still haven't lightened up any?" "I'm not amused by this....series of odd games, Metrinos." Metrinos frowned a bit, seeming to be genuinely unhappy about Jeniyus's disappointment. Then, he smiled again, and said, "Well, I think this next game will be fun for you." Stage Three: Racing Ostriches "Wait, what does that title above us say?!" Jeniyus exclaimed. "Well, have a look around! We're now in a savannah!" Rolling plains of tall grass surrounded them. The golden sun above made things quite warm. Flustered, Jeniyus stammered, "But.....this......you......I don't even think ostriches are that docile!" "Oh, don't worry, these ones are," Metrinos responds, smiling. He walks up to a large ostrich, and pats it on the side. Then, he turned back to Jeniyus, and said, "Now, mount your ride!" Jeniyus turned to her right and saw another ostrich with a stepping stool next to it. She turned to Metrinos with a concerned expression, and said, "I don't think this is safe!" Metrinos climbed onto his ostrich, and smiled down at Jeniyus. "Relax, Jeniyus! There are special saddles on them that will keep us from falling off. All we have to do is direct them. Lean to the left to get them to run left, and lean to the right to get them to run right. Tap your feet against their sides to make them run faster. They won't run into things, but there's a course you have to stay on, otherwise, you're out of the race." Jeniyus raised an eyebrow. "Have you.....done this before or something?!" "Of course! But don't worry about that right now! Let's race!" Jeniyus sighed, and climbed onto her ostrich. "Alright!" Metrinos announced. "On your mark! Get set!" Jeniyus rolled her eyes. "Go!" The ostriches took off, speeding forward along a road that lied in between rows of tall grass. Jeniyus was a bit jarred by the speed of the ostrich, but quickly gained her bearings, and looked over at Metrinos, who was beside her on his ostrich. He looked over to her, and said, "Don't worry, there aren't any sharp turns on the road!" Then, his ostrich ran ahead, leaving Jeniyus and her ostrich behind. Jeniyus tapped her feet into the ostrich's sides, causing it to speed up. She, soon, caught up to Metrinos. Metrinos smiled at her and said, "That's it! Very good! Now, one other thing I forgot to tell you! Just be sure to watch out for the traps on the course!" Jeniyus's eyes widened. "Traps? What traps?" Just then, a huge, pink beam of energy fired from the sky at the ground directly to Jeniyus's right. She yelled in fear, and leaned slightly to the left, making her ostrich run a little closer to Metrinos's. Metrinos laughed and said, "Don't worry, Jeniyus! Those beams won't hurt you! They'll just cause you to itch all over!" Jeniyus turned to him, and shouted, "Couldn't you have set up a game that was normal?!" Metrinos shook his head, still smiling, and said, "Well, of course not!" Then, another beam shot down directly on Jeniyus, and she yelled in fright. Then, she began to scratch her back with one hand, and her side with her other. "Don't worry. The itching wears off when the race ends. But the itching will most liikely.....hinder your ability to steer. Well, ta-ta!" "Damn it, Metrinos!!" Jeniyus bellowed as she continued to scratch. Metrinos's ostrich took off ahead of hers, but Jeniyus was too busy scratching to accelerate her own ostrich. It didn't really matter much to her; she didn't care about losing. She justed wanted this infernal itching to cease. Still, she wanted to stay on the course of the race track so that she didn't wind up lost in the savannah. So, she forced herself to stop scratching, despite the prickling itch, and tried to focus on staying on the road. She could see that she was coming up to a turn that would lead right, and slowly started to lean to her right. The ostrich began to run towards the right, staying on the curving road. Then, another pink beam of light blasted the ground behind her, spooking the ostrich, and causing it to run faster. Jeniyus worried that, with the increased speed, the ostrich may not be able to make other turns so gracefully. "Woah! Slow down!" she pleaded the bird, but to no avail. Several more energy beams struck the ground around her, and she yelled in fright, mentally damning Metrinos. She looked ahead, seeing that the road was quite long. She couldn't wait for this stupid game to be over. "Why would he ever think that I would find this fun?!" she thought. The race appeared to drag on forever, but Jeniyus realized that she probably felt this way because of the obnoxious itching that plagued her. Finally, she and her ostrich reached the finish line, where Metrinos was waiting, still mounted on his ostrich. Once she crossed the white line in the dirt, the itching stopped, and she exhaled a sigh of relief. Her ostrich finally halted. "There! Wasn't that fun?" Metrinos asked jovially. "No, Metrinos. That was obnoxious," Jeniyus responded bitterly. "Oh, you're just being a grumpy spoil-sport!" Metrinos teased. "If you'd lighten up, you'd find these games a lot more enjoyable!" "Somehow, I doubt that." "You prefer fighting? Fighting is icky!" Jeniyus sighed, and said, "Metrinos, I know that you don't like violence, but when you're a supervillain bent on robbing the rich blind...." "What? It's inevitable? It doesn't have to be!" Jeniyus grimaced, staring at him. Metrinos laughed. "Such a grumpy face! The next event should turn that frown upside down!" Stage Four: Homerun Derby "NO. I am NOT playing homerun derby with you. I don't even see how you can play it competitively!" Jeniyus exclaimed. "Whoever hits the ball farthest wins!" Metrinos explained, holding up two wiffle bats, giving one to Jeniyus. "Except....the ball is a beach ball, and it will be raining apple juice while we play." "No! I've had enough of this!" Jeniyus shouted. "I'm tired of your stupid games and I won't play them anymore!" She swung her bat fiercely at Metrinos's head. The bat made contact, knocking Metrinos unconscious, and he fell to the ground. For a moment, Jeniyus stood there, staring at the unconscious Metrinos. "Huh.....wonder why I didn't just do that in the first place....." Stage Five: End of Games...Maybe Jeniyus dragged the unconscious Metrinos to the minimum security supervillain containment facility in which he was often held. It was difficult for her to carry him, as he was heavier than her, but she was becoming better at it. She dropped him down on the bed inside the cell, and closed the cell behind her as she was walking out of it. The man at the front desk in the first room smiled at Jeniyus as she came back into the room. "Thanks for taking him to the cell. So, he was at it again with larceny?" "Yeah, he was.....trying to steal all the money from a secret vault," Jeniyus responded. "Ah. It must've taken quite a fight to bring him down." "Yeah....it was....." Jeniyus explained, not sure if she wanted to go into detail. She knew how odd Metrinos was, but didn't know if the people at the prison facility were aware of the extent of his quirks. "Well, thank you for bringing him in again. We'll try to make sure he stays this time." Jeniyus nodded, and exited the building, exhausted. She hit the small button on her watch, and was teleported back to her room in her house. She collapsed on her bed, and fell asleep for about thirty minutes. Then, her cellphone began to ring, waking her up. She picked it up, and could see that it was a call from the prison. She answered it. "Hello?" "Jeniyus? Uhm....Metrinos has just broken out again." "SON OF A-" THE END Category:Story Category:Comedy Category:Hero Forever Category:Superhero Category:Noblebright Category:Finished Stories